Monday, March 2, 2015

Caught Up, I Guess...

We have all been caught, right? I would thinks so, we have all been caught doing something or even doing nothing. I know have been caught a enough times to put an end to my criminal career. 
I don't know where I'm going with this so bare with me...
The feeling of being caught in the act  of doing whatever is frightening enough for us to jump when we have been caught or have some kind of dumb look on our faces. People react differently to being caught as well. It really is intriguing when you see all the peoples reactions to being caught. A person could be caught doing to simplest thing and overreact. A person could even catch oneself. 
My mother has caught me so many times it's ridiculous. It's bad because I knew I would be caught before she even actually caught me doing what doing. Each time I was caught by anybody doing something I thought I would grow from that and become less careless, negative. I'm catching myself up in things and I'm watching as if I were watching a slow motion scene in a movie. I see myself doing things I'm not supposed to be doing and and doing nothing at all. And I still have that "oh shit" feeling. It's crazy, I'm telling you. But that "oh shit" feeling is almost like a rush like I wanted to be caught by someone or even myself. It's like a challenge to see if I the skills that can change the outcome. Haha I'm never able to though....maybe I should stop looking for trouble...
I really thought I was going somewhere with this post but I guess not haha

Nacho Cheese

Probably should've fell into the same color of paint to compliment these empty walls
Probably should've done alotta things but through the open spaces all my plans fall
Keep Hope Alive I Am Somebody because I know that I am 
Gotta embrace my stage name to inherit the fame cause even at one point Dr. Suess was the homie who by Sam
Yes what a classic to make remember every line of your song 
I actually care more about you and what you're about rather than trying to remove your thong 
And I know you got love for me but it feels like you're scared to try a new color of paint 
I know once you recognize the detail and effort the realization will make you faint
It'll make you swoon
Cause the dance your doing is to a different one
Eventually the replay of it and the stroke will make you moan
Sad because it won't be as satisfying as your uncontrollable laughter 
Cheesy as it maybe 
I'll forever choose you as my lady...
(Keep Hope Alive You Are Somebody)...



Sunday, March 1, 2015

Nonsense

I'm sure you won't see me until it is too late... I mean yea I know we see one another just about everyday but I know you don't see me, you can't, no one will be ever to see me clearly. I would like to believe all of the positive possibilities for us but that seems selfish because I know that I can't have it all. I have come to the realization that I have to take what I can get with you because I would hate to lose all together and I feel as though you know this. I feel as though you know I am in love with, deeply, and no matter who's heart or whatever gets broken, I will be there for you. I understand you may not want to hurt me because  you think you are a certain way or whatever your excuse but then all you have there is an excuse and a weak ass one at that. We both know that shit is wack. If you saw me like you think you do, you would know heartbreak is something I or anybody who has felt this way for another is worth the risk. It's not the first time. We are both grown ass individuals so you and I know how something like this could turn out and all the obstacles that would come with us being together, especially with what we do and who with. It seems as though you have you want something that is t worth your energy, something that when it goes sour after  2 minutes you can have this grand epiphany about how this always happens and how you knew what it was from the jump. Yeah, how about next or any fucking time, you look for what's good, real, right beside you in your apparent blindspot. Cause believe I'll be here like a clown waiting on you, passing on that little bullshit that comes my way because I'm all in as I've always with these kinds of matters. And it's not like this happens all the damn time haha its the second time...ever. I'm supposed to talk to you and when I work enough "courage" to do so, you acknowledge I've said something and that you've heard me say something but won't listen. Shits so dumb it's hilarious. I know we can't choose whether we get hurt or not in this world...but we do have someday in who hurts us. I know that from that dumbass movie. That doesn't make it any less true. I chosen my heartbreak, if it comes to that, and I'm beyond satisfied with my decision. It was you from the day we first met that day at me and my boys had our BBQ when that accident happened on the interstate and you took off with an empty plate across that field. I told him that you were it and he told me that you were annoying and to leave it alone I could do better. I knew I was in love with you in that moment...you being a goober, you being so motivated and passionate about everything, being so beautiful even with your chopped off hair haha...and that was just when we first met. So it's understandable that my reasons for these feelings and shit have grown deeper with each day. Forgive me for falling to early...
Haha so cheesy!!!
That maybe but it's true and maybe one day you'll figure it out. Sooner than later, I hope :)
KHAYAS...