So Simple...

  Memories whether good or bad can be brought back by the slightest thing. Something so simple can send you back like a time machine and remind you of a time in your past as if you were there again. It cold be in the middle of a conversation and that person that you are speaking with says something in a certain way. The faintest of smells might catch your attention such as the smell of salt coming off the water or the distant hint of smoke from a cigarette.
  Standing watching on a post alone with no sign of relief in sight, can put in you in a sort of dazed kind of state and once you have been captured by that nostalgic moment in time because of a faint scent or chill of the breeze on your face, one begins to drift in to deep thought about all the detail of that memory. If that makes any sense, I doubt it. Don't trip...I barely graduated high school with a 3.6 haha.
  Anyways...As I was standing watch I caught one of those simple triggers that would send anyone back to scenes from the past. This memory consisted of my father lighting one of his Newport cigarettes driving us to the barbershop early on a Saturday morning. I could feel the bass from the speakers on my legs and back in that white Chevrolet truck and the brisk wind against my face piercing through the opening in the window. I can taste the Mickey Ds breakfast and rubbing my oh so tired eyes. I hate this memory and then again I can appreciate it.
  All of the brief memories I have of me and my father spending any kind of time with one another have not left my mind. I don't want them to leave honestly, not because I want to go back and relive them because they ended with some form of pain and ignorance. Fuck that noise....Those memories are just a constant reminder of what kind of father I want to be and what kind of father I don't need to be. I don want to be just a brief moment in my child's life, "mistake" or not. I can say all these things about how I will be a better everything and this or that but I doubt.....Nah that doubt is dumb kid. Of course I am going to be a better everything. A main reason for that is honestly because I don't want my moms to beat my ass......True Story.